So, Darren came to visit me in St. Louis! We were so busy that I forgot to take any pictures to prove that he was here. That's a bit disappointing. You'll just have to take my word for it that I did, indeed, have a visitor! He flew in Wednesday, August 17th and you better believe I was waiting as close to the gate as I was allowed. To him I'm sure I looked like a blur of teal scrubs (I came straight from work) as I attacked him for a hug. I pretty much never let go of him until I had to drive us home from the airport.
While on the road home, I gave him a mini tour of all the places that I have come to know since moving here. It's funny that the side of St. Louis that Darren and I saw while apartment hunting is a completely different version from the one I know now. A lot of that has to do with the fact that our hotel back then is pretty far from my apartment now. It also helps that I have been working around the greater St. Louis area at all of the hospitals and have really gotten to know the layout of the city. My favorite restaurants, places to shop, and ways to get around town are completely different (and better in my opinion). It also helps that I have finally found a church where I feel comfortable, accepted, and can really start to make a difference at. More on that topic later.
So, even though I had a handsome visitor in town, I still had to go to work the next day (Thursday). Fortunately, I was able to finish up at a reasonable time and rush home to see my future-hubby! I was completely surprised to find that he had cleaned my apartment, done my laundry, finished the dishes, and knocked a few other things off my ever-growing to-do list! What an amazing surprise! (It goes without saying that my love language is "Acts of Service/Kindness"). The next day had similar events, and then that evening we joined a group from work for dinner so Darren could meet some of my coworkers.
The rest of his visit is a blur. We saw a couple of movies ("30 Minutes or Less" and "Conan the Barbarian"), neither of which I would recommend, we went shopping at the mall, we cooked meals and snuggled up on our new couch to watch our favorite tv shows.
Then on Sunday I took Darren to the church I've been visiting, Ellisville Church of Christ. It's pretty small like his old church back in Garland, so I figured he would like that. We were invited to eat lunch at one family's house with 5 or 6 other families. That turned out to be a wonderful experience! It may have had a little to do with the fact that we got to eat homemade taco salad (complete with the taco bowls!). The families in attendance were so curious to hear our story and asked about our future plans. Everyone was so kind and warm and friendly; we even got a few hugs out of the deal! That afternoon was just perfect in every way and it really made this city start to feel like home.
Monday morning came and it was time for us to say goodbye (and me to bawl my eyes out on the drive to and from the airport). I've realized that the faster I say goodbye, the less it hurts (insert bandaid comment here), so I didn't even park to take Darren into the airport. Every time I drive or walk away from that boy my heart rips in half.
This comes to one of the main points I wanted to make in this post: I wish I had known that growing up would require an unbelievable amount of painful goodbyes. I knew death was one of them. I knew driving away from my grandparents' farm was one of them. I knew that saying "bye" to Mom when she went on a business trip was one of them. But I was absolutely clueless as to how many times couples, friends, and family are separated from one another. And I had no idea how bad it would hurt.
Darren and I have the misfortune of an age gap that separates us for a year at a time. First, when I moved away to college. Now, when I've moved away for work. Darn 1989.
I think a lot of that emotion stems from the fact that I am a woman and I wear my heart on my sleeve. That aside, everybody goes through those painful moments of looking in the rear view mirror and wondering "when will I see this/him/her again?" I just wish I had known so I could have steeled myself for the process. Fortunately, most of our "goodbye"s turn out to actually be "see you later"s and that is the case for mine.
Enough emotion for now.
Work is going unbelievably well. This past week I saw 8 implants, did 13 checks, and watched the beginning of an ablation (it got cancelled due to esophageal bleeding). I am starting to feel like I'm part of this team and they are starting to gain confidence in my learning. It seems a lot of them look on me as their younger sister, which is a completely new experience for me. I'm the oldest of three siblings at home and I've also kept company with people a year or two younger than me. Being the youngest (and by 6 or more years) is a new and exciting experience... one that will take some time to get used to (it doesn't help that I was carded to prove I was old enough--17--to see Conan the Barbarian with Darren).
My work is exceedingly more difficult and interesting every day. Before returning to Austin for training in 2 weeks I am required to complete a workbook, "80" hours of online modules, and take an exam. As of today, I have finished the workbook, done two-thirds of the modules, and am preparing to take the exam this week. Every case I observe, I learn something new. Every check I conduct, I am allowed more responsibility for the programming. I even put a patient's heart in ventricular fibrillation and then let the device shock him out of it (a required component of the ICD implantation). Man, it is unbelievable what the human body is capable of...our amazing Creator designed with intent.
So now I'm just counting down the days until next weekend when my mom and Kacey are in town for WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING! Then, I'll count down the days until I fly to Texas and see all of my favorite people in College Station and my friends in my intern class.
It's so strange to think that I'm not prepping for school to start tomorrow. For the past 17 years of my life, I have had a first day of school. Now, when that alarm goes off at 5:30 tomorrow morning, I'll roll out of bed and head to work, just like every other day. No "syllabus day", no grading schemes, no silly icebreakers. Just a bi-ventricular implant at 8am.
Who am I kidding? Just an implant?! Haha I am so done with school and I am SO happy about it! I always wondered what adults looked forward to since they don't have school calendars with exciting events. Now I know! I find joy in things I used to find super lame like talk radio and the weather. I enjoy getting home at the end of a long day at work and knowing I did something productive. As strange as it sounds, I like the feeling of writing a check to pay a bill with the money I earned on my own. I like the independence that a career brings. I like looking around the apartment and seeing the fruits of my own labor.
But, I miss my friends, I miss my school, and I miss AFC. If you are still at A&M surrounded by the people you love, enjoy every moment of it for me. Don't take the people you sit with at lunch on Sunday afternoon for granted. Make the most of studying with a group at the library and those late night coffee runs. Don your favorite Aggie shirt, stand up, and bleed maroon for me during our game against SMU this weekend. Appreciate the fact that you are surrounded by people just like you and draw energy from it. Pretty soon, you'll be out in the world, soaring in your own environment with the entire Aggie network standing behind you. That's what I think about when I look at my ring with the "11" facing what still seems to be the wrong direction. Geez I sound like an A&M Foundation commercial. You get the point.
Have a great first week back at school!
Love and blessings,
Brooke
PS. Here's a few pictures I thought I'd share
Leonard was concerned for the East coast
I finally bought throw pillows!
A&M made the news here!
Proof I cleaned the guest room and dining table
